Monday, January 10, 2011


Or Rhiannon Goedel. Whichever.

Today, after having a good 'ol fashion Jersey Shore party with Chelsea and Chan at my apartment, we departed Ann Arbor.

First, while pulling out of my excellent parallel parking spot in front of my apartment, with the WHOLE FRONT of my car already in the lane, some idiot speeds down the road and slams on their breaks and honks their horn. Idiot. I can't make the front of my car disappear...

It get's worse...

In Ann Arbor, there are lights every 20 feet down State St. Because of this, cars always end up blocking intersections because they think they can squeeze by, but then the light turns red and they are stuck blocking traffic.  I was turning right onto State St., and there was not much room, so the front of my car was angled into the lane. Same idiot from before ends up speeding around me, turning right and cuts in front of my car, while flicking me off.

They then continued weaving in and out of traffic down State St., and continued causing road rage all down I-94.  Driving behind them, I was wishing they would get a ticket, or something since they were driving like a maniac.


Quick background... Last April, my van was driving wobble-y. As I would accelerate or slow down, the steering wheel would wobble. I didn't know what it was, I figured something about the alignment... Then driving down I-94 POP!. My driver-side rear tire popped. When I looked at it, it was SHREDDED. Like metal wires exposed shredded.

For the past few days, my van was wobbling again.  I remembered thats what happened last year, so every time I got out of my van, I'd check the air in the tires, watching for any of them going flat. None of them looked semi-deflated at all.

Can you guess what happened?

Front driver-side tire. SHREDDED.

I pulled off to the shoulder of the EXPRESS WAY. A little bit of my van was still sticking out in the lane because the shoulder was so thin.  I put on the emergency lights and opened the trunk door. I proceeded to get out the spare tire and search my van for the jack.

Meanwhile, Chelsea is driving down the road talking to Rhiannon.
R: "Hey, nothing bad has happened lately..."
C: "Don't say that, dude. It's not even funn -- OMG I almost just hit some guy broken down on the side of the road.  OMG IT'S MATT BENYO!"
So basically, Rhiannon jinxed me and caused the flat tire.

Chelsea turned around and came to keep me company while changing my tire.

A cop did the same, he pulled behind me to assure that traffic would get over and not run into us. What a guy... except he didn't even get out of his car to see if I needed help and would only communicate with me via his megaphone.

Long story short, I changed the tire and made my way home safe. Weird thing is I broke down in about the same exact spot as last year. On I-94, right before the Michigan Ave. exit. Weird, no?



Chelsea Kirchoff said...

Not even kidding, I legit laughed about 1,000 times when I read this. So did Rhiannon. We're both skyping as we read this.


It's totally her fault.


Also, that was a Grade A parallel parking job.

Rhiannon said...

Not even my fault. Nope. The blog clearly states the the tires were already bad.
But I mean, it appears to me that your tire blew up right when I said nothing bad has happened lately.

"Matt Benyo is SOOO funny." - Chelsea Kirchoff

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Benyo,

I do not appreciate the way you drive the van on which I previously lived so recklessly. This has a been a problem in the past. Due to this reckless driving I thought it was best for myself to get the hell out of there. Give the other tires my best. I just couldn't take this anymore, so I decided to sacrifice myself.

the tire from the front driver's side.

Matt Benyo said...


I'll relay the message to my brother, since he is clearly the reckless driver being spoken about.

Besides, you were old. No one will miss you!

In fact, we are replacing the rest of the tires along with you!!

lorrie said...

the traffic is why i usually avoid ann arbor too much for me. one time my friend and me were on our way home from ann arbor and hit a pothole on the entrance ramp on 94 we pulled over and luckily a stranger stopped and helped us only bad thing is that i must have left my car kit there. dad was not thrilled with that.